Bonjour dear reader!
Thank you for coming back for another blog post by moi! 🙋🏻♀️
I really do appreciate every single person that takes the time to read my often lengthy stories. (This post is one of the shorter ones, surprisingly!)
Today, I wanted to talk about, actually share with you, my struggle with trying to be a travel blogger.
Notice, this is not about how I’m trying to “make it (money)” in the travel blogging world.
I’m just plain-old struggling with it!
When I first decided to create this site, it was just supposed to be another reason for me to write more.
Because as any aspiring novelist will know, more writing, equals better writing.
It was also meant as a way for me to get more comfortable with sharing my work publicly. Because honestly, that has always been a hard point for me. No matter how much I believe in my written work, love it, cherish it. There’s always a scoffing voice in my head, that critiques everything I write.
Anyway, as it just so happened, months prior to the creation of She Chose Now, I had booked my first solo trip.
So naturally, I thought that travel stories would be a great way to ease into this whole blogging world.
But after beginning to write about my adventures, trials, and errors, I ended up enjoying it all so much more than I expected.
Don’t get me wrong, my life’s dream is still to be a published fictional writer. But for the meantime, I actually wanted to be a real travel blogger.
I wanted to have boundless, first-hand knowledge of different countries, and a vast array of stories and tips to give my readers, to give to you.
Therein lay my first struggle. Because right now, I just can’t travel as often as I imagine a travel blogger does. (or should?)
The fact remains, that the majority of my time is not spent discovering new places, writing stories, or off on another adventure.
Most of my time is spent at my job or at school.
So a mix of insecurities and doubt (yes, I knew exactly what was troubling me) began to cloud my mind. It made me question if I could even call myself a travel blogger.
What are my travel stories compared to Jane who has been to 23 countries and counting?
Or Emily, who inspires so many, after she quit her day job and set out to see the world?
I was feeling like a rather small fish, swimming out of my depths in the big ocean of travel bloggers.
While simultaneously knowing that all these feelings were stemming from self-doubt, lack of patience, and a bit of fear, I guess.
Fear of being judged a “fraud” because I’m not a “real” blogger.
Then I reminded myself, that Jane didn’t always have 23 countries under her belt, she most likely started with one. And who knows how long Emily was blogging before she decided to take the leap and quit her job. And who really cares if anyone thinks I shouldn’t be blogging as long as I enjoy it, right?
The point is, most of us start at the bottom, it’s what we do in-between the bottom and the top, that determines whether we reach our goal. I say this not just as a reminder for you, but for me too. As I’m quite forgetful of this when doubt comes-a-knockin’.
Since a lot of this post is written in past-tense, you may be thinking that I have found a cure, and will now be offering you the antidote to self-doubt.
A simple banishing spell of, Riddikulus! would make things so much easier, wouldn’t it?
But alas, the doubt is always there, ready to seize any moment of weakness. Some days, it’s really easy to push it to the back of my mind, and not give a damn about the critics outside, or the critic inside.
But other days, it takes a bit more work, a bit more courage, a bit more of everything to keep it at bay.
Maybe someday, doubt will become a long-forgotten feeling. But until then, I’ll keep fighting for this dream of mine. One step forward. One step at a time. 💛
Thanks for reading along & stay tuned to read about my first solo trip to France!
Believing in a dream others cannot see or understand, takes courage. And whenever courage is required, doubt will always be there, ready to sweep it all away.
For dreams are ever fleeting, and if one does not hold on tightly, it may just very well slip through your fingers, and disappear as if it never was.
– Suzie V.